Have you ever heard that old saying: “We’ve got 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason – we need to listen twice as much as we speak.” Why is it so important to listen? When we listen, we deepen relationships. As Christian Life Coaches, we spend a lot of time learning about our client. That only happens when we listen, and listen well. When I talk, I hear my thoughts and opinions, but I already know those, so I’m not learning anything. But when I listen, I hear your thoughts and opinions, and I learn. The more I listen, the more I learn. We can learn what our client is thinking and feeling, and what is important to them; in other words, we learn who they really are. We honor our client by listening well. But it isn’t just limited to our coaching clients, it can be truly life-changing for our personal relationships as well. Here are 3 things that come from listening well…
When we listen, we love…
When someone really listens to you, do you feel loved? Listening expresses love. When you listen to someone, you are actively loving them. You are reaching out and saying, “You are important to me – I want to hear what you have to say.” Try putting your phone down, or putting the remote control away, and look at the other person and listen. Ask them about their high and low for the day and then listen to their response with your whole heart. It’s why God listens to us! He loves us and one of the ways He shows it is by listening.
When we listen, we learn…
How do you draw out the deep thoughts, the deep feelings of another person? By listening; and by asking questions, then listening some more. The best listeners pay close attention to what another says, realizing that there are things beneath the surface to be explored. Then great listeners begin to asks probing questions. Too often, we are content to take what people say at face value, without digging deeper. But then we miss out on truly knowing who the other person is, how they feel, what they really think. Try asking meaningful questions such as… “What are the top 3 events of your childhood?” “What life lessons did you learn from your father, your mother, your grandparents?” “If you knew you wouldn’t fail, what would you love to do?”
When we listen, we know…
When we listen, we get to know how to be a support to others. Listening helps us know how best to comfort others, how to encourage others, and how to discern what they are really saying. One person may love getting flowers while another person may love a song that’s meaningful that they can add to their playlist. One person may love a home-cooked meal dropped off during a difficult time, while another may prefer a gift card for their favorite pizza. It’s an amazing feeling when you realize the other person really knows what blesses you. Listening allows us to know the things that communicate our love and concern to others and it will deepen your relationships with those you love like nothing else. Listening lets us in on the secrets of a person’s heart. The Lord uses these holy moments that allow us to reflect His unconditional love. When you listen, you love, you learn and you know things that others miss. Listening deepens relationships like nothing else. Want to learn how to deepen your personal relationships by being a great listener and asking meaningful questions? Contact us today and join one of our upcoming training sessions.
